My name is Kasab

(The year is somewhere close to 2024.)

Aryan Khan, son of Shah Rukh Khan, has been recently launched by his dad. He is the youngest rock star of the country and a heartthrob of millions of teenage girls all around the world.

Junior Khan finds out that Ajmal Kasab’s case is still running in the courts. He goes to Mr. Kasab and does a research on what had actually happened on the night of 26th November 2008. To his surprise, his research work shows that Mr. Kasab is an innocent guy who has lived 15 miserable years of his life behind the bars in a dark prison. Aryan now wants to follow his dad’s foot steps and comes up with an idea of making a remix movie of Veer-Zaara and My Name Is Khan. Papa Khan is very happy that his son is not only talented but also courageous and has made a very bold/wise decision of portraying the role of an innocent Muslim who was maliciously caught by the Indian Police during the 26-11 attacks.

According to Junior Khan’s research, Kasab is a very romantic guy and had come to Mumbai with his girlfriend to see bollywood.  His girlfriend was an Indian and she gave him an AK-47 and asked him to go in front of a CCTV camera. He was so madly in love with her that he didn’t even think twice before committing the act. Later that day he was caught by the police and was taken into custody. While shifting in jails, he once had a chance to look outside the window of the jeep. He saw that someone was getting married. When their jeep went closer to the bride, he realized that it was his own girlfriend who had planned such a scary sketch for him. He later came to know that his girlfriend had betrayed him. The only hope that someday his girlfriend would come to his rescue was now dead. He lived in the prison as a living corpse. No hunger, no hope. But he believed in a thing called destiny. He believed that someday, some girl would come and listen to his dard-e-dastaan and set him free.

Junior Khan liked this story. He immediately called up Karan Johar’s son and told him the plot of the story. Junior Johar got hyper excited after listening to the story. He in turn called up Kajol’s daughter and told her the entire story. All three of them got ready to do the movie, “My name is Kasab and she made me a terrorist.” The movie name becomes an instant hit. To add icing to the cake, Karan Johar’s son decides to make the movie in 4D. (assuming that 4D technology has already arrived in the market). That’s it! All the Aryan Khan fans over Twitter and Facebook (and all other new social networking sites) start discussing about the new film.

The film gets released in all cinema halls across India. It receives a huge response from the fans all over the world. Everywhere, first day, first show is houseful. Junior Khan’s extraordinary charm has done the magic. The movie becomes the biggest blockbuster of Indian cinema, ever. The then Prime Minister and President watch a special screening of the movie and come out of the cinemas with wet napkins in their hands. The movie is made tax-free all over the country. All the politicians watch the movie and come to a realization that what the did to Kasab was wrong. The fact that they entertained such a discrimination towards such an innocent guy was a huge mistake of theirs. Even the opposition is so moved by the film that they come to an agreement with the ruling party’s decision of letting Kasab go back to his motherland.

It is the last day of hearing for Kasab in the court. Kasab has already spent more than 15 years of his youth life in a dark prison. The judge, who had been postponing the case for lack of evidence for many years, empathizes with Kasab’s condition and is finally convinced that what Kasab had done in the CCTV footage was merely an accident and that he is innocent and has a right to live freely in the country. As soon as the judgment is declared, some minister of the state declares Kasab as the real son of the soil. He says Kasab has taken so many insults on his own soul but was never ashamed of speaking the truth that he had come to visit Mumbai for watching some bollywood film.

Kasab is now an international celebrity. He visits hollywood every now and then. He entertains the hollywood directors by giving them the script of his life inside the 4 walls of prison. He is the most admired person on the face of the planet. He becomes the inspiration for thousands of writers and poets. He himself writes poems in his leisure time. He had learnt writing poems while he was in the prison.

One of his famous poems is:

jail ki diwaron me jab hoti hai khat khat

jail ki diwaron me jab hoti hai khat khat

khat khat… khat khat..

I said WTF! I opened my eyes and saw that it was my maid, waiting for me to open the door. I opened the door half asleep, took the news paper from her hands, went back to the bed-room, grabbed my spectacles and started reading the headlines. The headline read as follows:

Ajmal Kasab trial ends, verdict on May 3

I said thank God, I thought even this case would continue for years to come. And that every bit of truth would be chewed up, swallowed without digesting and finally spitted out and eventually be accepted as fact. I’m glad that the Indian Govt has taken a strict step towards the final hearing of Kasab’s case. Otherwise, someday my dream would have come true!

But then that day was April 1st. So I’m still skeptical whether that was a true news or just another of media’s tricks to fool people in masses?

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Marathi Manoos

The wounds of 26/11 have not healed completely and yet another tragedy hits the Mumbaikars. And this time, its their own political party, the one which claims to provide a better society for ‘Marathi Manoos’. Yes, a clean, socialized, independent, better society called as “The Good-for-nothing Marathi Society”, where all the narcissistic and proud-to-be-gay Marathi people live in harmony.

Anyone who tries to spread terror is a terrorist in my opinion. Then be it Kasab or MNS/Shiv Sena activists. The only difference is that people like Kasab live behind the bars after commiting the crime whereas the political figures don’t even go there even after committing many such crimes.

The attack on the IBN Lokmat office the other day is not just a warning but also an implication that these people have plans of  propagating terrorism. And why? Because they think they are sacrificing their blood for the welfare of Marathi Manoos. Welfare of Marathi Manoos. Hah! How are they willing to achieve this welfare? Is it by calling the place ‘Mumbai’ instead of ‘Bombay’? Or is it by slamming the God of Cricket who himself is a Marathi Manoos? I say, this is the biggest bull-shit they are offering to be in politics. The worst part is that the Marathi junta still buys this crap.

If they really want to do something for the betterment of the society why don’t they help the people living in slums.  According to 2009 statistics Mumbai, the financial capital of India, is the 7th dirtiest metropolitan city of the world. Do these activists even know this fact?! I believe that the filth is growing not because of the dirt and pollution, rather it is because of the people who are not willing to see the city clean. Well, I why would I care?!

What hurt me most or rather I should say what made me write the post is the reason that they beat women. Of all things, this is the biggest crime I suppose. I hate those who don’t respect women. When I came to know that they slapped the receptionist and the other staff, I felt very angry. There is a limit for everything. Protesting is something, but beating up staff is just not acceptable. And what was their crime? They simply put forward their opinion. What they didn’t realize is that in Mumbai it’s a crime. As they say, “A pen is mightier than a sword”, but the sword, even if rusted, is more powerful. And in India, power speaks.

I’m highly disappointed by the acts of these people and I feel ashamed to call myself  a Marathi guy. I had always thought of Maharashtra as a land of leaders like Shivaji maharaj, Bal Gangadhar Tilak, Gopala Krishna Gokhale, veer Savarkar who have made selfless contributions towards the development of the people. The Shiv Sena activists not just threw stones on the glass of the office, but they also shattered the image of Maharashtra in my eyes, into pieces.

When is this going to end?

Jaago Re

I read a blog today and I thought of writing a post on a similar topic. So please do read this post before continuing.

Have you ever noticed, the maid at your home will have the election card as well as the dhobi and sweepers. But why don’t people like us have the card? That’s because we know whom we should vote to and they don’t. These bloody politicians are in the seat because of the poor people ONLY. They illusion the poor farmers by showing them the false dreams of providing free rice and water supply (at least here in Andhra Pradesh, that’s the scheme). That easily fetches a million votes to these bloody politicians. And hence we don’t get voter cards so easily. Even my parents didn’t get the voter cards last time. Hence, we are living in a country which is controlled by a bunch of fools for a bunch of illiterate, poor people. And what are we doing here? We are just trying to adjust with our environment.

” Is this the freedom we need? ”

I feel very sorry for using the words poor and illiterate for my own countrymen. But that is the blind truth. India is a country of poor, illiterate people who were ruled by the British for 200 years and now by their own friends, so called ” THE POLITICIANS “. For example, just take the case of Barbers in the country. SRK is producing a new movie, Billu Barber. For publicizing the film, he distributed posters to more than 500 barber shops in Mumbai. They happily accepted the posters. What happens next? Some bloody politicians/activists think that using the name “Barber” in the title is very offensive and it should be removed. What the Fuck!( No. Seriously, I mean it) I don’t see anything wrong in using the name of some community of people. If I say that slum people have filed a case against Slumdog Millionaire for calling them DOG, I’d still go with them because it really hurts their pride. This is too much. Isn’t it? But this is how it is in my country. Everyday I see such a news in headlines and what I do? Nothing. But today, at least I’m writing a post.

Status: Frustated.

Book of the week : The Last lecture by Randy Pausch.

Song of the week : ” Rehna Tu ” from Delhi-6 composed by A R Rahman.

The Taj and the Raj

If Suketu Mehta had to write the book “Maximum City: Bombay lost and found” in 2009, he would have rather named it as “Maximum City: (Aamchi) Mumbai from the city of dreams to the city of fear”. Yes, a city of fear. Fear from terrorists, from dirty politicians.

Mumbai, being the financial capital of India, attracts huge crowds from all parts of the country. It is highly difficult to stop the crowd to enter into the city. There is no order, no security to control this flow of crowd. But there are certain rules. Like “North-Indians are not allowed”. A bunch of dirty rogues set such rules and bring ill fame to their native cities. I ask who are ‘they’ to set the rules? Are they the ones who really care about the city? If yes, then why didn’t they speak out a single word when the deadliest terror attacks hit Mumbai? The answer, as one of my friend quoted, is “The ones who came through boats were not as much dangerous as the ones who came through votes”. So very true!

There were times when people from all over the country flooded the Mumbai streets hoping to see themselves achieve their dreams. Even today thousands of people come to Mumbai everyday in search of a hope that one day they’ll succeed. And now this is going to stop because A. North-Indians are not allowed into the city. B. There is a life risk of coming to the city where there are frequent bomb blasts and terrorist attacks.

One of the biggest flaws of Indian politics is that the votes these politicians gain are from poor people. People from villages vote for these candidates thinking these politicians stand true on their promise and that’s where most of these politicians gain vote from. But as it turns out, these politicians neither help the poor nor do they develop the state. Instead, they help growing their bank balances.

I feel very sad when I see the present conditions in various states. For example consider the case of Jharkhand Cheif Minister Shibu Soren:

He became the Union Coal Minister in the Manmohan Singh government, but was asked to resign following an arrest warrant in his name in the thirty-year old Chirudih case. After the warrant was issued, he initially went underground.

He was the Minister for Coal in the Union Cabinet in November 2006, when a Delhi district court found him guilty in the murder of his private secretary Shashi Nath Jha in 1994. He has also been indicted in the past on other criminal charges.

I seriously think there is a desperate need of creating a new political system in India. By this I don’t mean that BJP is better than the present UPA. India is a young-developing country and it needs young people to take over it. Today, most of the Indian politicians are in their 80s. They can’t take care of their own health and they want to run a whole country. Tell you what, this is all just a “Kissa Khursi ka”. Lets hope that in near future we see some politicians who are young, dynamic and capable of bringing change in India.